Dr. Seema Sarkar
Associate
Professor of English
Navyug Kanya
Mahavidyalaya,
Lucknow, Uttar
Pradesh, India
Today Usha was very
happy and relaxed again. She could make a man understand the power of ‘No’
finally and that every woman is not accessible to bed. Man and woman can be
very good friends also without any physicality is still to be digested by
society. ‘Men are always men’, she thought. She was a reputed Professor of
vocal music in a Deemed University and had a very good reputation in society.
Though a strict taskmaster, she was adored by her students. She had a young
son, who was in job after his B.B.A. in other city, far from her. Ujjwal, her
darling, her lifeline was now trying to get top IIM for his M.B.A. Like mother,
he was also a very good singer and has a passion for cooking, which he has
inherited from her maternal grandparents. Usha had gone through a bad marital
status, so she was staying with her parents from the time, Ujjwal was only 2
years old. Therefore, Ujjwal was deeply attached to his Nana-Nani, who groomed
him up into a wonderful personality, without the shelter of a detached father.
He was openly told about his father, nothing hidden and hence at the time of
divorce case, when his father tried to lure him to speak ill about his mother
and grandparents, he frankly replied that he knew all truth.
So, it was crisis
period of COVID-19 and social distancing was being maintained. Ujjwal was
comfortable at his place to work from home, but daily video call to Maa &
Nani made their life joyful in this dismal situations. Usha was a friendly
person and was active on social media. Her live music was always appreciated
highly by public. She was a positive person, who could spread happiness
everywhere with her infectious smile. Her students were mostly her Facebook
friends, colleagues, new acquaintances in seminar, conferences added to her
friend list. She was open to all with a crystal clear heart that anyone can see
through. She actively updated her department activities with her junior
colleagues on Facebook page.
One day some Viren sent
a friend request. As usual, checking her common friends with him, getting
assured, she accepted it. After 2-3 days, in her messenger, she saw: ‘Hi,
Thanks’... in Viren’s box. She asked, ‘what for thanks’... prompt reply, ‘for
accepting my friend request’. Fine, then casual whereabouts being exchanged and
she came to know that he is a reputed businessman, touring to various places
for business purpose, loves driving mostly in his car. She also came to know
that he has an ancestral home at her city as well and visits it frequently.
Then, like her other male friends, normal good morning, funny messages poured
in, exchanged quite often on messenger only. He sent beautiful songs videos
also, which flattered her the most.
One fine day, on his
funny message, her funny reply turned into his asking for mobile no. as he
wanted to talk and know her more personally. She hesitated, gave no reply. He
teased her, ‘What happened, so you don’t want to talk?’ She immediately
exchanged her nos. A gentlemanly approach again, ‘When you are free, alone to
talk, let me know, call you’. These days, she was busy on digital platforms
with her talks, musical shows. So she replied for Sunday evening, two days
later. It was amusingly taken by him that she can’t even spare few minutes for
friends even. As she casually exchanged her whatsapp no. now a message popped
up, ‘Hi, Viren here’. She casually replied, ‘Yes your no. with name saved’. Now
again showers of music audio-video poured in, soothing her soul. On a soulful
song, she commented, ‘My favourite’ and the answer ‘dedicated to you’ then
again ‘especially for you’ tag with a romantic song prompted her reply,
‘enjoying your flirting’. Then on chat itself both enquired about each other’s
family. His reply, ‘you are my family’ increased the fun of knowing this
naughty man. His enquiry about her husband made her reply, ‘Perhaps, you
haven’t checked my profile properly’. Within 5 minutes, ‘found everyone except
your husband’. She said, ‘So whom have you found?’ He said, ‘Your son’. She
gleefully replied, ‘He is my world, my darling’. He insisted, ‘Tell na, why
hiding game?’ She said, ‘I’ve nothing to hide, fine, when you tell me about
your wife etc. I’ll tell mine’. Immediately a video call on whatsapp from his
side started ringing, which she dismissed saying it is her son’s time.
What appealed to her
about this man was his giving space to her, if she said that she is busy in
‘riyaz’ her musical practice, he would not disturb by messages or call. By the
way, the awaited call was taken next morning by her and casual knowing about
each other went on and again on his marital status said that he was single and
something there to tell when meet face to face and offered to take her on a
long drive that day as he was in city. She was startled by his approach but
flatly refused saying to maintain social distancing, having an old mother at
home. Again normal chat started. But that night when he said ‘I need you alone’
was replied ‘I’m not available’. At night, while talking to her son in routine,
at his enquiry what Usha did whole day, she amusingly replied, ‘flirting with a
handsome gentleman, who wanted to take her for a long drive’. She had already
shared his profile pic with him as an enquiry to make him a friend. So Ujjwal
knew about him but such a comment from his mother prompted him to ask about her
answer to the proposal. She used to tease her young son so often on girl friend
matter etc. She jovially replied, ‘No way.’
Next day on call he
frankly told he wanted to meet and spend time alone with her, as he considered
her a bold and beautiful lady, who has every right to be happy and enjoy her
life in her own way. She told him in a friendly manner that she was happy with
her mother and son and enjoying her life to full. He was welcome to her home to
meet in front of her mother. He openly told her as an admirer of hers that he
wanted to hold her hands, hug her, kiss her and in front of her mother, he will
not feel good. Though somewhere deep in her heart, she felt flattered as for 20
long years, she was spending her life as a saint, controlling all emotions and
desires within. The handsome gentleman’s approach was curbed by expressing her
discomfort on such actions. He assured of her consent and comfort zone which
didn’t make her feel dirty at all. Otherwise, she had faced very boldly this
cruel world for the last twenty years by snubbing such people, blocking them
bluntly. But Viren was special, who sweetly tingled the emotions in her heart
and she wished to retain him as a sweet friend. At night his bold expressions
that he’ll start afresh with her with commitment & transparent to explore
the physical world and rejuvenate with him as he wanted him in his bed, erupted
the volcano of emotions in her heart...She thought why this happened to her!
Why she is feeling weak...She had already told her mother that a new gentleman
has entered into her life as a friend, showing his dp pic as she told about all
her male-female friends to her as well as her son. Somehow she passed a
disturbed night. In the morning, when he called and dotingly addressed her as
pretty woman, she told that she was emotionally disturbed to think that
somebody felt her in his bed. Now she had a question tormenting her if she is a
slut or a whore? She treats him as a friend only. He was taken aback and said
he never expected such expressions from an independent lady like her. Next day
normal message exchange made things normal again. But in afternoon, while
driving to other city, he suddenly called & after sweetly addressing her
told that he was hurt by her blunt expressions yesterday. So after reaching his
destination, he will call to speak his side and then she would remember that a
creature called Viren entered her life one day.
She immediately
contacted one junior colleague with whom, she was very close and openly teased
her in naughty ways. Vithika was a modern girl, brilliant in studies, got
medals, awards & a gem of the department. But she went through a very bad,
abusive relationship also, later found a man of her heart and now was happily
married and a mother of a two year old naughty child. She heard and said that
Usha had every right to be happy in her own way, according to her own choice.
But Usha said she can’t think of physical relation now at the age of 50. But
she wants this man to be a friend like others. She didn’t want to block him as
his hurt ego can lead to bad consequences for her outside. Now she was a little
relieved to vent out her heart to someone. By the way, she sent a nice song to
him expressing that she is happy in her small world and let her be there as she
is without any more expectations from life. She wrote that she had an online
show for an hour then she was there to listen to him, so that she is not
distracted by his call in between. No call came rather the song was
acknowledged emotionally saying, ‘I do understand...but be mine’. He called in
the evening, sweetly talking and she clearly told that for her physical
relationship was under the sanctity of marriage and that once for all was over
in her life. He insisted, ‘you are mine, I need you’. She helplessly expressed
that she was unable to make him understand then as she had very clearly gave
her denial on that front. Later in night he also sent some messages expressing
his love with new songs as well, insisting ‘Let’s be together’. The erotic
messages aroused her carnal desires and deep within she wished if this handsome
guy can be his man and lead to a dream world where she always wished to stay
forever. But practical life was very different. The harsh reality hit her
conscious and she replied that it was impossible a dream he was in. In this
patriarchal society, no one bothers of a man’s activity but a woman has to
abide by society rules. What her son has to suffer that her mother was having
an affair with a businessman. Now she wrote that she had committed a blunder to
make him a friend. Immediate response came, ‘what do you mean?’ She flatly said
that she considered him a thorough gentleman and hence exchanged mobile nos.
She wanted to cherish him as a sweet friend only. Reading her comments, he
finally said, ‘Be happy in your world, let’s quit, cheers! I’m blocking you.’
Next morning, she
called Veethika and told everything and said she deleted his chats not to get
distracted anymore. That she had done earlier also when for the first time he
desperately expressed his desire to see her beside him. She wanted to know if
her nos. with him create any problem for her in future! Vitheeka comfortingly
assured that he has to check his reputation as well, as he is a well-to-do man
of society. So she should relax as she had blocked him on all fronts then.
After that, she left a message to Ujjwal that she wanted to call and speak on Viren’s
matter to him. After breakfast, he called and she told every detail as she did
to Veethika. For her, he was his support system emotionally, a friend,
philosopher and guide after her father’s demise, two years back. When asked if
he felt disturbed by her vent out, a positive reply came from Ujjwal, ‘Till now
I felt you treated me like a baby, but today I feel an adult to whom you
confide freely. You have done right thing. I’m proud of you Maa and respect you
more as a strong and independent woman. You have all the rights to live your
life as per your terms.’
Later she received in chat, ‘Thanks for sharing the incident with me as it will help me grow as a person and allow me to be open with you in the future as well,’ made her feel emotionally strong. That night they had a usual video chat in night and the trio of 3 generation slept peacefully. Next morning, she shared to Ujjwal some beautiful romantic messages and a song sent by Viren with a bold confession, ‘he is the only man in my life who made me feel a beautiful woman, even his approaches never made me feel dirty but can’t lead to false hopes so told to be friend only and I really miss his messages and calls...You must know this fact’. She jokingly commented on a romantic message that he could use it when he found his soul mate. She confirmed also that he was not disturbed by her confession. Now she felt once again the energy and zeal of life to face it as it comes to her. She feels refreshing on the spring breeze that entered to her barren and bleak life for a while and a sweet smile automatically adorns her lovely lips...