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Confinement and Liberation: A Critique of Meena Kandasamy’s When I Hit You; Or, a Portrait of the Writer as a Young Wife

 


Confinement and Liberation: A Critique of Meena Kandasamy’s When I Hit You; Or, a Portrait of the Writer as a Young Wife

Prasanna M,

Ph.D. Research Scholar,

Department of English, Kuvempu University,

Jnana Sahyadri, Shankaraghatta, Shivamogga, Karnataka, India.

&

Dr. S Siraj Ahmed,

Professor & Research Supervisor,

Department of English, Sahyadri Arts College,

Shivamogga, Karnataka, India.

 

Abstract: Dalit Literature, which is the protest literature as stated by Sharan Kumar Limbale, an acclaimed writer of the book Towards an Aesthetic of Dalit Literature, has disrupted the literary scenario of Indian Literature, as most of it was produced by the upper caste people, and also at the global level in the past three decades. The present paper is an attempt to explore one of the novels When I Hit You: Or, A Portrait of the Writer as a Young Wife by Meena Kandasamy, the poet, novelist, translator and activist who is a celebrated author of Touch (2006) and Ms. Millitancy (2010) and also a first Indian women writer writing Dalit poetry in English. As domestic violence has become a common phenomenon in recent times at the global level, one must be curious to know how it operates on a different level in various communities and ethnic groups. When all women undergo oppression, the women who have been kept at the last rung of the social hierarchy might have been resilient enough to resist and to recuperate from their suppression, as they are more vulnerable to these inhuman acts. Hence, the present paper throws light on how the author delves deep into the themes of domestic violence, gender stereotypes, resistance, and voice through a searing exploration of women's plight in a phallocentric society.  The novel tells the story of an unnamed narrator who had resisted the brutal treatment in her conjugal life, which spans about just four months, only to reclaim the autonomy of her body and her freelance career back on track. The paper also underscores how women, who might have been bearing the brunt of upheaval meted out by men, may reject and revolt against the same when it becomes ‘unbearable’ and ‘untenable’ and may stop playing the role of a good ‘Indian wife’. Such women who have been ill-treated and humiliated in the wedlock have been voicing their stories and Meena Kandasamy’s When I Hit You: Or, A Portrait of the Writer as a Young Wife portrays one such story of a woman who is well read but misread the true intensions of her comrade, an English professor who assumes the role of an underground revolutionary to whom she is married.

Keywords: Marriage, Domestic Violence, Female Subjectivity, Resistance, Gender, Feminism, Liberation       

            The more we try to familiarize ourselves with the strange, the more we become strangers to the familiar! When I Hit You: Or a Portrait of the Writer as a Young Wife depicts the pictures of sufferings of the conjugal life of a young woman, the unnamed narrator in the novel, who had resisted the brutal treatment in her conjugal life which spans about just four months, only to reclaim the autonomy of her body and her freelance career back on track. She, who has read extensively to understand various aspects of life, finds marital life to be strange, and the things that she once denounced as strange become familiar to her. She is surprised to learn that her parents accept domestic violence as normal for her good. She, who has been the ‘flag bearer’ of freedom, finds herself confined between the four walls at the mercy of a monster husband. She chastises the society that says marital rape, violence, and violations are to be seen as the irresistible aspects of life. It's strange and distressing to learn that a person who had been filled with revolutionary ideas had never allowed his wife to be one—hypocrisy at its best.

An abusive, hypocritical, misogynistic, far-leftist, and yet conservative husband that she has got after a heartbreak, never gives her any opportunity to be herself, let alone support her in her endeavor. The narrator in the novel challenges many of the fundamental notions and beliefs that have influenced the thought processes of human beings. She questions the language theories of famous writers and, at the same time, takes Roman Jakobson's Functions of Language theory to prove her point that moaning while having sex is also a language. The narrator was very smart in rejecting the proposals that had filled her road of youth, only to finally fall in love with a person who is twice her age. Her 'one true love', an excellent orator, activist, progressive thinker, a chameleon politician who wanted to be a bachelor, had never missed a chance to bed with her, yet finally rejected her by citing her feminism as a problem. “Love is not blind; it just looks in the wrong direction.”Although the narrator berates all the characters in the novel for various reasons, she also fosters an expectation and a different perception.

Mother, who always narrates her daughter's brutal marriage life to others, misses the sufferings that her daughter faced, by focusing on the consequences, which enrages the narrator, as the truth may soon vanish. Her lackadaisical father, who is much worried for the dignity and honour of the family, made her stay in the marriage with the abusive husband, for he says, “Your husband is doing this for your own good.” (p, 60) Her conspicuously amoral lover, who ‘used’ her for his political elevation, at the end finds it difficult to be with a feminist and tries to save energy as Preti Taneja, (FRSL) a British writer whose debut novel We That are Young (2017) won Desmond Elliot Prize, puts it, “Public celibacy is here necessary for saintliness (The Guardian, July 2017)Or as Kandasamy puts it, "To ejaculate was to emasculate.” His extended groups of people never missed a chance to disrespect and degrade her, for in their view, her acquaintance with her lover is a means for an end; an end is to enter politics. It has become a matter of love, faith, and respect. When he isn’t ready to accept her publicly, she decides to go far away from him with a broken heart. For many days after the walk away, her delirious state of mind put her in a precarious condition for having failed in her love.

Filled with love for communist thoughts, she was attracted to a person involved in communist activities, who had been a Naxalite. His passion towards the revolution, anger towards the state, distaste for capitalism, and strong belief in communist ideologies attracted her to finally marry him, but she was oblivious to the fact that he was using the communist ideas as a cover for his own sadism. (Preti Taneja)” His rule book- sown by patriarchy, watered by feudalism, manured by a selective interpretation- doesn’t allow her to be a writer, doesn’t allow her to be the person she always wanted to be. He is unpredictable. He is outrageous.

It is also distressing to see how men try to take control of everything that women do and Kandasamy ironically says, “The effect of adhering to my husband’s wishes gives me the appearance of a woman who has given up. But I know that attired in this manner, I am all set to play the part of the good Indian wife. (p.16) The role that women play in their married lives and its unexpectedness are well captured in the poem Life While-You-Wait:

“I know nothing of the role I play

I only know it’s mine. I can’t exchange it.

I have to guess on the spot

Just what this play’s all about.” (Szymborska, lines 5-8)

The conditioning of women in an androcentric society and how they are neutralised in their married life, which turns them into taciturn individuals, is again a question of dilemma that women face on a day-to-day basis. Juliet Mitchell in Women’s Estate rightly defines gender as a “socially conditioned fantasy.”One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman as described by Simone De Beauvoir. Meena Kandasamy has captured the nuances of every detail with an unflinching narration in a poetic tone. The narrator says, “I contemplate the right response to every provocation, I cross out lines of dialogue when I realise that silence sinks in better.” (p, 22)

In the due course, sex turns into rape to teach her a lesson: “He unwittingly believes that sex involves more than body fluids, and convinced that he is injecting ideology into his crazy wife.” (p.22) She finds it hard to resist a monster, not even her body resists the rape. She knows rape is a defeat, but she is helpless now, and she waits for the time. She waits for the change. No one should have to say this in any relationship: “I climb into the incredible sadness of silence.” Her husband tries to break the silence with more violence and rape. In this marriage in which I am beaten, he is the poet.  And one of his opening lines of verse reads:

“When I Hit You,

Comrade Lenin weeps.

I cry, he chronicles.

The institution of marriage creates its own division of labour.” (p, 84)

UN researchers in their largest international study on rape found that ‘rape occurs within marriage and the sexual offenders feel a sense of ‘sexual entitlement’ when inflicting violence, and about half of them don’t feel guilty about it. She finds it suffocating as she is not allowed to use the internet, mobile, social media, mail, etc. She finds it hard to believe that any of her wishes to lead a normal life like any other would be concluded by her husband as a petit-bourgeois lifestyle. His misdemeanor gets the mask of comradeship. It has become a weapon of abuse to remind her of her past, to call her slut, a whore. He finds mistakes in everything to abuse her physically, mentally, and emotionally. Fear of accepting a person who he had been and the fear of remembering the acts he had committed made him stop writing poems about his abuses and her emotions. The narrator acknowledges, “Marriage became a re-education camp. He transformed into a teacher, and I became the wife-student learning from this communist crusader” (p.32), but he is hypocritical enough to write a poem on his abuses. Fear of being murdered by her husband, who claims to have murdered many, made her stay in this marriage. It has become unbearable when he tries to kill her. She decides to walk out of the marriage after realizing that she is more useful alive than dead, and to feel free at her parents’ home. Once she is at home, she feels accountable for the innumerable questions that she faces from the people. The questions: why did she not run away? Why did she not use the opportunities that she had for escape? Why did she stay if, indeed, the conditions were as bad as she claims? How much of this wasn’t consensual? Those are hard to answer, and elevated her pain by making her husband's crime acceptable. Once she takes the task of punishing him, she realizes that he has become a chameleon, so that any act would be a blasphemy against the crusader who is working for people. She is not to write an essay that demonises him as one of her friends suggests. She is not to take any proper support from the police to punish him. In her solitude, she finds the reasons as to why she has been told by her father to “Go away and never come back” and decides to leave for a place where her past wouldn’t haunt her and which can make her live a life that is not attached to her bygone days. In her distress, the narrator says, “I rushed into it. The rest, as they say, is the unrest of this story.” (p.45)

Kandasamy’s prose flows like poetry, which creates images in the minds of the readers. The conduct of the men, which is most of the time double-faced, is brought to the limelight throughout the novel through the behavior of her father as well as her comrade husband and said, “I must remember that the responsibility of the female body belongs to me, and that I must not move or walk in such a fashion that makes others feel it as an object of allurement (although I should respectfully tolerate the gropes, the whistles, the hissed invitations) (34) Andrea Dworkin writes early in 1970s, “ In our culture not one part of women’s body is left untouched and un-altered….every section of her body is subject to modification.” (p.113-114)

There are no names for the characters, but they play the roles. Though the narrative seems like an autobiography, it distances itself from certain aspects of an autobiography. Embellished with illustrations of the marital life of a young woman, the novel itself is a crusader against the patriarchy, which made it seem like the submissive role of a wife is the inevitability of a perfect married life. At the end, she finds it difficult to live an unmarried life. Opposing a tradition is to attract the abuse from society. But she never loses hope, she is anti-fragile as she writes for the change, and she lives for the change. She herself is a change.

In conclusion, Meena Kandasamy’s When I Hit You: Or, A Portrait of the Writer as a Young Wife depicts the harsh realities of a conjugal life, and the protagonist's fortitude in resisting the atrocities gave her the strength to liberate herself from all her familial and marital clutches.

Works Cited

De Beauvoir, Simon. The Second Sex, Vintage, 2011.

Dworkin, Andrea. Woman Hating: A Radical Look at Sexuality, Penguin Classics, 2025.

https://www.newslaundry.com/2018/04/20/mind-of-a-rapist-kathua-unnao-paedophilia

Kandasamy, Meena. When I Hit You: Or, A Portrait of the Writer as a Young Wife, Juggernaut Books, 2017

Mitchel, Juliette. Woman’s Estate, Verso book, Reprint Edition, 2017

Preti, Taneja. Review of “When I Hit You: Or, A Portrait of the Writer as a Young Wife” The Guardian, Fri 7 Jul 2017.