Motherhood and Quest for Identity: A Feminist Reading of Manju Kapur’s Difficult Daughters
Tapashi Singha,
Assistant Professor,
Department of English, Nakshalbari
College,
University of North Bengal,
West Bengal, India.
Abstract: Motherhood is presented in Indian
English Literature in a diverse and dynamic way, transcending conventional
experiences of women as both mothers and individual. It explores the
complexities of motherhood, conflicts in relationships, struggles to maintain
societal expectations and individual identity. Many prominent Indian writers
like Ashapurna Debi, Mahasweta Devi, Jhumpa Lahiri, Manju Kapoor, Shashi
Deshpande, Anita Desai, Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni examining the various
experiences of mothers, highlighting the impacts challenging the social norms.
This present paper seeks to analyze the notion of motherhood in Manju Kapur's
“Difficult Daughters” which undergoes a profound transformation from
traditional to modernity. It examines how cultural values and societal
expectations in India shape a woman's choices and identity. In the Indian
context, women often prioritize marriage and motherhood over other pursuits.
Through an engaging analysis, this study sheds light on the different
characters and their struggles in pre- and post-independence Indian social
structure. The study also offers a modern lens on maternal figures, an
insightful understanding of motherhood, their quest for identity, reflecting
the complexities and diversities of Indian mothers.
Keywords: Motherhood, Women,
Identity, Indian Society, Mother-Daughter relationship.
Introduction:
Manju Kapur’s debut novel “Difficult Daughters” published in 1998 delves deeper into the lives and experiences of three generations of women of a middle class Indian family: Kasturi, embodies the role of traditional mother; Virmati who breaks the traditional societal norms to achieve personal freedom and Ida, daughter of Virmati, educated, modern childless. The novel set against the backdrop of pre-independence India and the partition explores the conflict between the traditional perception of motherhood over decades and the modern idea of motherhood viewing as a choice rather than a social obligation. Women were considered having divine power as the right to create new lives. As a female force, her reproductive power is the main source of creation. In early times, patriarchal society started practicing various ways to destroy women's power. As society does not back down from destroying nature, various societies have taken various steps to annihilate the mother's power and wealth through rituals, customs. However, individualism, modernization, economic development, empowerment brings changes in a society’s structure, norms, and values. The circumstances surrounding mothers in society have changed considerably. Motherhood has transformed significantly from the traditional domestic realm to dynamic and multifaceted involvement, striving to find balance between responsibilities and personal aspirations.
Indian feminist and critic Jasodhara
Bagchi in the introduction to the book Interrogating Motherhood, thoroughly
examines the status of women in colonial Bengal, contending that motherhood
serves as an instrument of women's subjugation when situated within the
overlapping framework of state, family, culture, and scientific and
technological endeavours. According to Bagchi, motherhood in India, as a
defining characteristic of biological females, is closely linked to the
ideologies that contributed to the nation-building efforts during the colonial
era and was subsequently revered in the vision of a post-colonial nation (Priyanka
Chatterjee).
The novel “Difficult Daughters” also
explores the poignant and relatable experience, inviting readers to reflect on
the complexities of family relationships. The
story unfolds in the tumultuous backdrop of Partition, centered on Virmati's
journey as a mother. Trapped in a male-dominated society, Virmati challenges
the societal norms and struggles to achieve her education though her mother Kasturi
appeared as an obstacle. Virmati navigates a forbidden relationship that
culminates in marriage, forcing her to live with the Professor's first wife and
children, ultimately leads a more complicated journey for her. In a
male-dominated society, being the ideal mother is considered as a significant
aspect of a woman's life. Mothers care for children, maintain household,
providing comfort as well as transmit cultural values. Mother should have the
responsibilities in developing the character and behaviour of the child. K.R. Sujatha and S. Gokilavani comment, “The
nature of motherhood is dependent on the cultures and societies that have
moulded them. Indian motherhood is inculcated in the woman from the day of her
birth. She is raised to look forward to nothing else and she rates her worth by
her efficiency to fulfill this role” (qut. in Jitender Singh). To perform the role
of a mother according to traditional expectation women go through an identity
crisis. Women do not hesitate to change themselves while fulfilling their
maternal role. Sometimes women are even ready to sacrifice all their
independence and personality for the healthy future of their children. For
centuries, women have been conditioned to express their identity through motherhood.
Even today, in this era of globalization, even though women and men are said to
have equal rights, this form of motherhood of women is neglected. By glorifying
the role of a mother, women's human rights are being denied. However, the
increasing participation of women in decision making, career opportunities,
access to economic resources greatly impacted the generations. The traditional
notion of motherhood has been changed by the pursuit of education and career
output aspirations in the increasing changing society.
Simone de Beauvoir the
French philosopher, social theorist and feminist activist in her book The Second Sex (1949) discuses how society treats
women. Beauvoir states that motherhood confines
women "to their bodies," akin to animals, enabling men to assert
control over both women and Nature. Beauvoir further states that men subjugate
women when they aim to sustain the family and preserve inheritance.
Societal Expectation:
Since ancient times, different roles
have been assigned to women and men in society. Women traditionally
manage the household duties and give training to their daughters to be a good
mother, wife. A woman after becoming a mother forgetting her own identity,
often prioritizes the family's well-being over their own desires. This sense of
self-sacrifice can inadvertently stifle daughters' aspirations as mothers
strive to fulfill societal obligations. Society has placed
certain expectations on mothers, such as the mother will always be available
for her child, care for her children, fulfils the needs of the family members.
Traditionally, this role has diverted women from their life's goal of
independence and other activities. Society guides women as the only way to
achieve perfection through motherhood, and all women who are deprived of this
motherhood or do not want to be mother or unable to bear children are
constantly subjected to oppression, social pressure, and mental stress. First,
marital relations and then motherhood are imposed on women by male society.
However, the responsibility of raising children can be accepted by both men and
women, married and unmarried, everyone can live this motherhood. From a
feminist perspective, motherhood has been described in various ways. Feminists
believe that performing the role of mother is at the root of women's
backwardness. Even if a woman is incapable of reproducing or maintaining
household, her family or society ostracizes her and deprives her of social and
economic rights. This deprivation and oppression by in-laws becomes the main
obstacle to women's empowerment. Judith Butler, a renowned feminist
philosopher, introduced the concept of "gender performativity" in her
1990 book, "Gender Trouble." She challenged the notion that our
biological sex determines our behaviour, arguing that people learn to act in
certain ways to fit into societal norms. According to Butler, gender is not an
innate quality but rather something we perform through our actions. Gender is
"real only to the extent that it is performed" meaning our identity is shaped by the
gendered behaviors we engage in” (qut. In Nasrullah
Mambrol ). Butler explains that gender is not something we possess
inherently but rather something we continuously enact, a "doing" that
constitutes our perceived identity. In other words, we are not born with a
predetermined gender; instead, we construct our gender identity through our
words, gestures, and behaviour and mannerisms. By understanding gender as
performative, we can see how the concepts of sex, gender, and sexuality work
together to shape our identities. By embracing the performative nature of
gender, we can begin to challenge traditional notions of masculinity and
femininity and explore the rich diversity of human identity (J.T. Ton MSc, 9).
Kasturi’s motherhood:
The novel depicts Kasturi’s miserable
situation and plight to keep dignity in the traditional patriarchal structure. The societal norms frequently
contribute immense pressure on Kasturi to achieve the unrealistic standards
society expects. In the Indian social system, it is considered that the
development of the child is determined by the behaviour of the mother. Indian
patriarchal society does not hesitate to create distance between mother and
child, often disregarding the pain of pregnancy and childbirth. Kasturi’s
traditional role of a mother has been affected after her daughter Virmati
venturing into diverse profession and challenging the gender norms. Kasturi
became habituated with the mechanisms of survival under the pressure of
societal expectations. She is always in the fear that revealing against the
societal norms seems to be dishonoured and absurd. In human relationship
mother- daughter relationship is a powerful bond providing each other support,
feelings, guidance friendship. However any patriarchal social structure,
cultural norms, different perspectives, generation gap create conflicts in human
relationship. The novel explores the delicate balance between a
mother's love for her children and the weight of societal expectations, which
creates a conflict in the relationship between mother and daughter. Societal
expectations cause immense burden and pressure on a mother which adversely
affected their relationships, impedes the progress by restricting opportunities
and perpetuating gender stereotypes.
Mother- Daughter relationship:
There is a complex mother–daughter
relationship between Kasturi and Virmati. The way a mother and daughter
interact reflects the emotional impact of women being silenced, neglected, and
expected to conform to limiting gender roles. Kasturi expected her daughter Virmati
to prioritize familiy’s reputation embracing family tradition culture, ritual,
child care and maintaining the household responsibility. This is why Kasturi
could not control herself when Virmati breaks the norms and visits her mother
soon after her marriage Kasturi shouting "you have destroyed our family
you Badmash you randi! You have blacken our face everywhere for these I gave
you but? (Kapur 221).
Our society operated under a
patriarchal system, focused on the father-child connection more than the
challenges in mother-daughter relationships. In a patriarchal society, mothers
often feel compelled to be strict to protect their daughters. This stems from
the widespread belief that women, considered inherently nurturing and
empathetic, are less likely to experience serious discord with their children.
However, strained daughter-mother relationships are more prevalent than
commonly realized. Ida’s statement in the very beginning of the novel the line:
“The one thing I had wanted was not to be like my mother” (Kapur 1). In the
patriarchal dominance Kasturi only find the way to use her voice upon her
daughter and instead of protesting against a system, she has only the power to
pressurize her daughter to be prepared for the household works, to be married
at early ages. Virmati longs for getting love and care from her mother but
fails to get any because Kasturi was busy remaining pregnant and sick, assigned
to household works. However, Shakuntala's influence sparks aspirations in
Virmati, leading her to envision a life beyond marriage and family. Kasturi’s
aims to mould Virmati in her own image, imposing restrictions on her, viewing
Virmati’s independent desires as violating the norms that engendered
significant conflicts. In doing so, Kasturi inadvertently embodies patriarchal
ideals.
Kapur illustrates the concerns of two
traditional mothers, Kasthuri and Lajwanti, who are anxious about their
children. While Kasturi grows weary from her continuous childbirths, Lajwanti
becomes envious and self-centred regarding her own child. The two women inhabit
a microcosmic realm filled with love and yearning for their families and
offspring. Their daughters, Virmati and Shakuntala contemplate aspirations that
extend beyond this. Virmati and Shakuntala booth challenge the traditional rules imposed by
society and family over their desire. Their desire to obtain personal freedom
and breaking the restrictions lead family problems and they become difficult
daughters. Both mothers hold the belief that "Women are still
supposed to marry, and nothing else" (DD 15), yet they also maintain that
"a girl lived for others, not for herself" (DD 14). In this context,
the novelist portrays the mindset of an Indian mother who prepares her daughter
for marriage.
Virmati’s conflict as
a mother:
As a mother, Virmati
finds herself navigating the same tensions she experienced as a daughter - the
conflict between tradition and modernity, duty and independence (Sharma, 82). Her relationship with her own
daughter, Ida, is a reflection of these unresolved struggles, as Virmati
grapples with the traditional values imposed by her own mother and her profound
desire for personal freedom (S T Sreenidhi).
On one hand, she is acutely aware of the societal expectations placed upon her,
but on the other, she has also felt the pain and isolation that come from
defying those expectations. Her attempts to balance these competing forces make
her a unique and compelling mother figure, one who is keenly conscious of the
consequences of rigid societal roles, yet haunted by the choices she has made.
According to Meanakshi Mukherjee:
“It is very different from the general run of novels
dealing with feminist issues. It is
about a woman who seeks freedom and finally achieves it, but it comes in
a very shabby form. The choices she makes don’t lead to a happy life” (qut. in
Archana, 53).
Ultimately, Virmati's
motherhood is shaped by both her personal history and her hope to grant her
daughter a greater degree of freedom than she herself had the privilege to
enjoy (82). However, the circumstances surrounding
mothers in society have changed considerably. Motherhood has transformed
significantly from the traditional domestic realm to dynamic and multifaceted
involvement, striving to find balance between responsibilities and personal aspirations.
Motherhood and
modernity:
However, the role of
mothers in Indian society changes
and evolves with economic development, emphasis on individualism,
modernization, and empowerment. The novel "Difficult
Daughters" highlights the emerging complexities of motherhood, as woman
like Virmati seeks to meet her personal freedom, education, she defies her
mother. Shakuntala serves as a maternal figure as well as a contrast to Kasturi's
traditional motherhood, exposing Virmati to an alternative way of life. Virmati
finds the motivation and support from Sakuntala that should be getting from her
mother Kasturi. The role of grandmother is important to provide her with
emotional support, though she does not overtly question the conventional roles
that Virmati is expected to play, her ability to be more understanding and less
critical enables Virmati to be encouraged as she pursues independence.
Shakuntala influences Virmati to make choices that align with her own desires,
even if it strains her relationship with her mother and family. Shakuntala's
modern maternal influence encourages Virmati to embrace her individuality and
break free from the confines of tradition.
Ida’s perception of
motherhood:
“Difficult Daughters”
primarily narrates the journey of Ida towards self-realization, experienced
vicariously through her mother's achievement of selfhood. As a daughter of Virmati, Ida takes a unique stance on
motherhood holding new and fresh perspective. She rejects to play the
traditional role of mother. Her choice to remain childless suggests that
motherhood is not only the path for women to achieve fulfillment in life.
Through Ida, the novel explores the evolving definitions of womanhood and the
freedom to define one's own life, unbound by societal pressures. As Ida
delves into her mother's life, she begins to understand the constraints and
societal pressures that Virmati suffered throughout her life. Ida comments: “This book weaves a connection between my mother and
me, each work a brick in a mansion I made with my head and my heart” (Kapur
259). She realizes that motherhood in a
male-dominated society is a complex and difficult role. As an educated woman,
Ida is driven and determined to discover her own identity. She chooses
to prioritize her independence and individuality, choose to live life on her
own terms. Ida’s realization and quest for identity is crucial for the novel as
well as for the exploration of feminist liberation movement.
Conclusion:
Through the different representations
of Motherhood within the novel, Manju Kapur explores that Motherhood, which was
once limited by conventional roles, has transformed into a complex experience
that merges tradition with modernity through the characters of Shakuntala,
Virmati’s grandmother, and Virmati herself, Ida’s rejection of motherhood. They
challenge the conventional roles imposed upon them and altogether show the
diversity of maternal experiences in the novel. The characters become empowered and reject the
traditional motherhood.
Through the depiction of the intricacies
and subtleties of this maternal role, the novel explored the nuance and
multidimensional aspect of motherhood in the ongoing discourse of gender and
transformative society.
Works Cited
Archana. “Feminine Voice: Narrative patterns through innocent eyes in
Manju Kapur's Difficult Daughters”. Shanlax
International Journal of English. Vol. 6 No. 2 March 2018 (50-57)
Chatterjee
Priyanka
Are Mothers
Machines? A Review Of Interrogating Motherhood”.
Feminism in India, May 15, 2018 .https://feminisminindia.com/2018/05/15/
interrogating-motherhood- jasodhara-bagchi/
Kapur, Manju. Difficult Daughters. Penguin Books, 1998. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simone_de_Beauvoir
Kumar V. “Living together yet apart: Analysing mother-daughter relationships in Manju Kapur's Difficult Daughters” Scholarly Research Journal for Humanity Science & English Language, VOL- 4 OCT- NOV 2017.Pg. 6858-6865
Judith Butler’s Concept of Performativity”. Literary Theory and Criticism. October
10, 2016https://literariness.org/2016/10/10/judith-butlers-concept-of-performativity
Margaret Anne. “The Conflict and Sympathetic
Atmosphere in Difficult Daughters – A Critical Study”. International Journal on Studies in English Language and Literature
(IJSELL). Volume 5, Issue 5, May 2017, PP 69-73
http://dx.doi.org/10.20431/2347-3134.0505007 www.arcjournals.org
S. Scenty, and Manuel Nirmala .
“Mother-Daughter Rapport in Manju Kapur’s Novel: Difficult Daughters.” International Journal of Early Childhood
Special Education (INT-JECSE) Vol 14, Issue 08 2022 ,
(2467-2469).DOI:10.48047/intjecse/V14I8.342
Sharma Meenakshi. “Portrayal of mothers in
Manju Kapur's novel Difficult Daughters”. International
Education & Research Journal [IERJ] Volume : 7 , Issue : 1 , Jan 2021.
(78-82)
Singh Jitender . “Deconstructing
Mother-Daughter Relationship: A Study of
Manju Kapur’s Difficult Daughters”. The Criterion, an International Journal in
English. October 2021. https://www.the-criterion.com/deconstructing-mother-daughter-relationship-a-study-of-manju-kapurs-difficult-daughters
Sreenidhi S. “Mother – Daughter
Relationship in Difficult Daughters by Manju Kapur.” Indian Writing in English
HCC. October, 2017 https://indianwritinginenglishhcc.blogspot.com/2017/10/daughter-relationship-ndifficult.html
Ton MSc J.T. “Judith Butler’s Notion of Gender Performativity”, Department of Philosophy and Religious Studies Research Group Philosophy, p 9, 25 June 2018.