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Paradox of Motherhood: Exploring the Maternal Experiences in Flora Nwapa’s Efuru

 


Paradox of Motherhood: Exploring the Maternal Experiences in Flora Nwapa’s Efuru

Shefali,

PhD Research Scholar,

Department of English,

Central University of Himachal Pradesh,

Dharamshala, Himachal Pradesh, India.

&

Dr. Hem Raj Bansal

Associate Professor,

Department of English,

Central University of Himachal Pradesh,

Dharamshala, Himachal Pradesh, India.

 

Abstract: Motherhood is closely related to the idealized figure of biological mother, the one who is viewed as a nurturer, caretaker and as someone who does not only protect but also sacrifices everything for her children. This paper examines the paradox that lies between societal expectations and individual desires. Set in colonial Nigeria, the novel challenges gender roles through its protagonist, Efuru. This study critically examines how Nwapa presents motherhood not just as a biological construct but as a complex, and often conflicting set of experiences shaped by culture, region, society and personal agency. Moreover, this paper interrogates the ways in which Efuru problematizes the idealization of motherhood and attempts to redefine it. Through the character of Efuru, the novel reveals the immense pressure on women to procreate, often linking their worth to their ability to bear children, preferably a male child. By breaking the archetype of a “Good Mother”, the eponymous character shows how she is different from the universal figure of a mother presented in many literary works. By tracing the representation of motherhood across literature, feminist thought and psychological discourse, the paper highlights how the maternal figure is revered and restricted, celebrated and silenced simultaneously.

Keywords: Barrenness, Bride Price, Good Mother, Motherhood, Patriarchy, Polygamy

Motherhood is the state of being a mother; it is both a biological and social construct. It is a journey that is transformative and dynamic in nature, encapsulating both challenges and joys, impacting women in varied ways. It acts as a major life transitioning force, influencing how individuals perceive themselves and society perceives them in accordance with the prevalent cultural norms. It is considered as a challenging (unpaid) labour due to its complexities. It is not just about giving birth but is an inherent instinct to love unconditionally, to care for, to protect at any cost, and to nurture.

Mothers are often depicted as figures who are sacrificing in nature, prioritizing their children’s needs over their own. This includes giving up sleep, personal desires, and personal ambitions. This selfless love and affection that they display and endorse are deeply engrained in their nature leading them to think of their existence in relation to either her husband or children. It is expected from a mother to stick to the attribute of sacrificing her individuality. Anita Desai (1937- ) in her work Fasting, Feasting (1999) says, “Mother had no desire left, no dreams. Her life was entirely given up to others” (4). Even the emotional and inner struggle that she goes through in her life is also suppressed in this whole process as Marmee in Little Women by Louisa May Alcott quotes, “I am angry nearly every day of my life, but I have learned not to show it” (342). This emotional repression experienced by mothers-- who are expected to stay calm, regardless of their own struggles --turns motherhood as a role that demands complete erasure of self, expressing the mental toll it can take and the identity crisis it can cause. This idea of self-sacrifice is seen as both an honor and as a limiting trait that reduces them just to the four walls of their house and degrades them professionally and personally.

Motherhood is not just about transition of body but is also a symbol of the creation of a new life. It symbolizes fertility, nurturing and unconditional love. Traditionally, mothers are viewed as the first caregivers who do not only provide physical support to their children but also emotional and moral guidance. The joy of being a mother is subject to individual experiences. While for some it brings a sense of fulfillment, for others it may bring burden, especially when societal expectations start clashing with personal endeavors. Women often experience multiple changes and shifts in their experiences, roles, priorities and even how they perceive themselves.

Motherhood both culturally and socially symbolizes unwavering support, love, life and fulfillment. From ancient mythology to contemporary religious practices, the mother figure represents the essence of compassion, sacrifice and guidance. Goddesses such as Isis in Egyptian mythology and Parvati and Durga in Hinduism represent nurturing, fertility and life-giving energy. According to Simone de Beauvoir, the development of women’s personality is often hindered by motherhood. In order to be a good mother, she is expected to leave her job, sacrifice her dreams, aspirations and freedom. Adrienne Rich (1929-2012 in her work Of Woman Born: Motherhood as Experience and Institution (1976) argues that motherhood is both a personal experience and a political institution often controlled by patriarchy. Society considers motherhood as the destiny of women and for this reason, women’s other potential contributions are often overlooked.

Depiction of motherhood in literature has been a crucial and evolving field. Writers from diverse fields have explored the complexities of motherhood through their writings. Representation of women in literature is concerned with women shifting their roles in society wherein motherhood remains a key tenet as a woman often lives in a state of constant struggle to be a “good mother.” Literature plays a vital role in understanding how the concept of ‘good mother’ is thoroughly portrayed and developed. “Motherhood Mystique” a term coined by Susan J. Douglas and Meredith W. Michaels in their book The Motherhood Mystique is relevant from the point of view of the present study. Traditional representations of mother have mostly been single dimensional where they play minor roles in the plot. For example Sita in the Ramayana is portrayed as a devoted mother and a symbol of suffering and endurance. In Homer’s Iliad and Odyssey, mothers like Hecubba and Penelope are remembered for their devotion towards their sons and household and not as individual entities who behold personal agency too. Motherhood is not just a biological process; it has social and psychological impacts too. Women are expected to become symbols of sacrifice by compromising with their dreams, aspirations and desires as individuals. They are forced to give up their health, career and goals because society expects a mother to be ideal in all forms and to focus on her family post-marriage. Adrienne Rich writes: “Institutionalized motherhood demands of women maternal “instinct” rather than intelligence, selflessness rather than self-realization, relation to others rather than creation of self” (42). Institutionalizing motherhood dictates that mothers should always view themselves in relation to their children.

In literature, the figure of mother is predominantly portrayed as a self-sacrificing, passive and morally idealized and symbolic character, representing core values of selfless service. Classical texts, scriptures and early novels have depicted motherhood as a form of duty; a duty before self and this portrayal reflects the patriarchal, religious and cultural dogmas of the time. In Biblical texts, the mother is a sacred figure. The Virgin Mary for instance is a symbol of divine grace and purity but passive, rarely expressing individual desires. In Shakespeare’s plays, role of women is limited to socially defined norms. In Hamlet Gertrude is criticized for remarrying, her agency to choose as an individual is more often denied and questioned. In Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen portrays Mrs. Bennet as a mother primarily concerned with the marriages of her daughters. Austen writes, “The business of her life was to get her daughters married; its solace was visiting and news”(5).  Nathaniel Hawthorne’s protagonist Hester Prynne in The Scarlet Letter presents a single mother in Puritan society who is publically ashamed and ostracized, yet she remains strong and dignified for the sake of her daughter Pearl. Hawthrone writes, “She named the infant Pearl, as being of great price, purchased with all she had, her mother’s only treasure” (91). The mother characters in all these writing were shaped by moral struggle and a duty towards their children.

However, by the late twentieth century, feminist writers challenged and redefined motherhood as more personal than only social and biological. Defining institutionalized motherhood as a source of patriarchy that is designed to serve the patriarchy only, they also suggested the ways as to how women can reclaim motherhood as a source of power and resistance. Pioneers like Virginia Woolf and later Adrienne Rich exposed the emotional complexity and oppression embedded with traditional roles of motherhood. The latter writes about her maternal experiences, “My children cause me the most exquisite suffering of which I have any experience. It is the suffering of ambivalence: the murderous alteration between bitter resentment and raw-edged nerves, and blissful gratification and tenderness” (21). This confessional tone captures the emotional turmoil that earlier literature largely ignored. Similarly, in Toni Morrison’s Beloved (1987), Sethe’s haunting act of infanticide is rooted not in monstrosity but in maternal desperation, “I did it because I loved my children, I did not want my baby to die as a slave” (193). Sethe’s obsessive fear for her children being enslaved and her traumatic act of infanticide can be interpreted as symptoms of Postpartum Obsessive- Compulsive Disorder (POCD); her mind was continually consumed by intrusive fear, guilt-driven hallucinations and emotional withdrawal. Similarly, Sylvia Plath’s poetry “Morning Song” voices the alienation and emotional distance, a new mother feels. She writes, “I’m no more of your mother/ than the cloud that distills a mirror” (1). This work of Plath can also be read as expressing postpartum alienation -- a complex emotional state in which new mothers may feel alienated, disconnected from their baby, and uncertain about their maternal identity. These post-nineteenth century depictions refuse to glorify motherhood and its previously accepted traits; instead, they define it as a space of conflict, survival and complexity.

This literary transition does not only reflect changing social and feminist discourses but also reveals the deep paradox of motherhood: a state of love and creation that can coexist with detachment, resentment, and psychological fragmentation. This shift sets the stage for contemporary feminist writers to explore motherhood not as a fixed ideal but as a lived, complex and often contradictory set of experiences.

Paradox of Motherhood

Paradox of Motherhood is defined as contradictory, emotional, social and personal experiences that mothers often face. The paradox suggests that fulfilling one role often comes at the expense of the other. For example, excelling in career may lead to giving less time to family and home, while prioritizing family life can limit professional advancements. It is “the conflicting societal expectations placed on mothers, particularly working mothers. It suggests they should excel at their careers as if they don’t have children, while simultaneously dedicating themselves to parenting as if they don’t work” (“Paradox”). Emily Edlynn in her article “The Motherhood Paradox: Idealized and Invisible” says: “Today’s mother is expected to be all things: fully devoted to her children, highly productive at work, and fulfilled as a woman, an impossible trifecta”; highlights the societal pressure to be both successful professionally and personally. For example, a mother prioritizing her career is judged as neglecting her children or being selfish and money-minded. This paradox encapsulates the complex and conflicting expectation imposed on women, wherein they are expected to achieve excellence in both domestic and professional spheres. Adrienne Rich distinguishes between experience of mothering which can be creative and empowering and the institution of motherhood that is patriarchal in nature and is designed to limit women. The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman reflects the psychological trauma that a mother goes through. It shows a constant feeling of guilt, emotional detachment both from her child and from reality she experienced as soon as she gave birth. This mental, emotional and psychological turmoil that the narrator experiences can be linked to present day postpartum depression or postpartum psychosis.

But here’s the thing that works against me: being a woman and mother in our society. We are expected at every level to sublimate our needs. Every level. From getting out of the way of a man striding down the centre of the sidewalk to the deeply entrenched message that smaller bodies are better (for women). From every direction we are told to not take up too much space, to shrink, to stay quiet, to smile with sad eyes. (Edlynn)

The paradox lies in the very reality of being a woman and mother simultaneously. From childhood only, society starts conditioning little girls for behaving in a certain way. As she grows she is taught that marriage and motherhood is the ultimate fulfillment. Women rather than feeling complete and a sense of fulfillment with the childbirth, often find themselves in a state of dilemma and disillusionment. Buchi Emecheta’s novel The Joys of Motherhood vividly portrays this paradox, showcasing how societal reverence for motherhood can become a source of oppression and suffering. Nnu Ego, the protagonist is celebrated and valued only when she delivers a baby boy. Yet when tragedy strikes her family and her son dies, she is blamed for failing to uphold her role as a good mother. She says, “They make it look as if we must aspire for children or die . . . I failed to live up to the standards expected of me by the males in my life” (186). She realizes the misled idealism of motherhood. For her, motherhood was her greatest joy and the greatest defeat. This contradiction that was initially honored (with the birth of her son) is instantly devalued (with the death of her son) is the paradox that lies at the core of the plot.

Published in 1966, Flora Nwapa’s Efuru is a pioneering novel in African literature and the first novel by an African woman. It is set in the Igbo village of Oguta, almost midway between the Igbo Women War of 1929 during which thousands of Igbo women agitated against the tax on married women. As Ifi Amadiume notes, “In 1929, thousands of Igbo women rose in revolt against colonial taxation policies that threatened their economic and social independence” (Amadiume 45). This protest in West Africa, led entirely by women challenged both colonial authority and women’s traditional roles. Efuru as a character can be seen as inheriting this legacy of resistance.

            The novel tells the story of this eponymous character Efuru in Nigerian Igbo community. As an intelligent, independent and strong-willed woman, she decides to elope with her lover Adizua -- a poor farmer without status or wealth and doesn’t have money to offer the bride price. This daring move of Efuru is viewed as a “shame on us” (9) by her community. This decision of eloping with a man of different class is highly unconventional in Igbo society, where marriages are usually arranged by families by paying the bride price. Efuru’s encouragement of Adizua “Don’t worry about the bride price” (4) shows how Nwapa establishes her protagonist as a bold and powerful character by giving her voice and agency to choose. After a year of marriage, Adizua gives up farming and joins Efuru in yam trading, later shifting to fish and crab to boost profits. Their business grows swiftly, so now they decide to pay off the bride price. Efuru remains committed and works hard to support the household, highlighting her resilience and determination. But as soon as time passes, the pain of being barren begins to weigh down heavily on her. People begin to gossip and “to them Efuru was a man since she could not produce” (24). Efuru is particularly tagged to be beautiful, but the village women hold her beauty against her only when she fails to produce any child. She is not only denied personhood but also womanhood as she is termed a man as she could not conceive. Adizua’s mother suggests him to marry another woman “with the consent of Efuru” (26) and Efuru herself asks him “to look around for a young girl for a wife” (84). Eventually, the birth of a baby girl fills her with both delight and surprise, “Is it really true that I have had a baby, then I am a woman after all”(31).

The novelist shows how Adizua eventually begins to show his dominance and shirks from his familial duty. He fails in business and wants his wife to take it just after a year of delivering the baby to which she agrees. Adizua’s mother confesses that Nawashike Ogene’s daughter Efuru has brought luck to their family, for whichever business she puts her hands in, is profitable. Adizua starts acting queer by coming home late. Efurul earns from her mother-in-law that Adizua’s father began the same kind of waywardness. Efuru realizes that “waywardness is in their blood; it is hereditary” (58). Adizua eventually abandons Efuru and their daughter Ogonium. Efuru goes to Agnoa, Ndoni, Akiri and Ogwu to find Adizua but fails in her efforts. She refuses to stay and wait for Adizua anymore. Ogonium dies by convulsions and is buried but Adizua neither comes home nor shows any concern. Thinking about her mother-in-law, Efurure solves not to follow the path that the former followed. She registers her protest: “Perhaps self-imposed suffering appeals to her it doesn’t appeal to me. I am capable of suffering for greatest things. But to suffer for a truant and irresponsible husband like Adizua is to debase suffering. My own suffering will be noble” (62). Adizua’s mother suffered at the hands of her husband just as Efuru is suffering. However, Efuru returns to her father and decides to rebuild her life independently, “I cannot wait indefinitely for Adizua . . . I am still young and would wish to marry again” (88).

Efuru later marries Gilbert, a trader who appreciates her intelligence and industrious nature. However, village women themselves begin to gossip about Efuru’s inability to conceive. One such woman Omirima sarcastically tells Gilbert’s mother Amede, “It has been a year since your son married. One year is enough for any woman who would have a baby to begin making one”, to this Amede responds “we are productive in our family” (139).Four years and still childless, Amede suggests that Gilbert should remarry.  The women around begin to yarn the tales about Efuru and Gilbert’s being together, swimming together and not having a child. “We are not going to eat happy marriage. Marriage must be fruitful” (137).  Gilbert starts coming home late; he would come late and leave in the morning. Efuru suggests him to marry a girl as she has not been able to give him a child even after four years of marriage. In the series of events, Gilbert accuses Efuru of adultery. It is an attempt to shame her publically and justify his betrayal. Efuru divorces Gilbert and devotes herself in the service of goddess Uhamiri. Efuru is finding peace not in marriage or motherhood but in her ultimate connection with the goddess.

Paradox and Complexity:

Efuru is an ideal woman in every way, she is intelligent, beautiful, generous and spiritually chosen yet she is not valued because she cannot bear children. Adizua her first husband proves to be an utter failure in business and marriage. It is Efuru only who makes all the profit with her skills. Her efficiency and trading skills overshadow her first husband. In Igbo society, a woman’s primary duty is to marry and bear children, especially sons. Without children, especially biological ones, a woman is viewed as worthless and cursed. Efuru loses her only daughter Ogonium and fails to conceive again. Gilbert, her second husband, distances himself from her after four years of marriage and accuses her of adultery. Nwapa uses Gilbert’s accusations of adultery against Efuru as a satirical commentary on how patriarchal societies punish women who deviate from traditional roles -- particularly those who are childless. The burden placed on women is multifaceted, encompassing societal expectations, emotional labor, and the pressure to conform to ideals of motherhood and virtue. The character portrayal of Efuru shows how the identity of women is intricately linked to motherhood and how this synonymously asserts their position in society. Nwapa introduces herself as a female archetype. “Efuru was her name. She was remarkable woman. It was not only that she came from a distinguished family. She was distinguished herself” (1). “Efuru endeavours to correct the ill-gotten notion that seems to protect men even when it is evident that they have erred. This direct confrontation is meant to indict patriarchy which seems to thrive by using females as scapegoats” (Sibanda 128). This reveals how Efuru is crafted not just as a passive character but as a challenge to patriarchal norms. She gradually becomes a symbolic voice of feminist resistance.

In African society, a prosperous woman is defined not by how successful she is in her professional life but how effective she is in giving sons to her family. Strong emphasis is laid on how fertile she is. On the contrary, the men have been guaranteed the ownership of women by birth till death. Before marriage a woman belongs to her father and after to her husband. The role of a woman and mother is paramount as they both define the identity of women and their status in the society.  Efuru’s identity, her worth and her purpose is defined in terms of her marriage, fertility and motherhood. Motherhood is often seen as an important part of a woman’s life that might decide her place in society. “Feminine Mystique”, a term coined by Betty Friedan in her book of the same title, shows how a woman is defined exclusively on the basis of her role as a wife and mother. This finds resonance with the character of Efuru who is a successful trader but not a successful wife and mother. Nwapa’s portrayal of Efuru expresses the need to undermine such evil practices in society that construct such ideas of motherhood. Efuru is an accomplished but barren woman who is denied not only personhood but womanhood too. Nwapa through the character of Efuru shows how obligatory motherhood works, when the women of the same village starts equating her with the man because she is barren and cannot produce, “to them Efuru was a man she could not reproduce” (23). Equating her with a man means she is failing in womanhood by not fulfilling her reproductive duties. Fertility for Africans is not just biological but spiritual, economic and social. Women are valued only for procreation, continuing the family lineage and strengthening kinship alliances, her failure in any of these results in social stigma, marital instability or abandonment (as Efuru is also abandoned by Adizua) public shaming, and being metaphorically or literally called as “a man.” According to World Health Organization, infertility affects one in four couples in developing countries, yet women disproportionately bear the blame, even when the medical cause is male infertility.

Nwapa deliberately denies Efuru the joys of motherhood so as to define her as an individual, self-reliant character whose identity is not dependent on her children and husband. Rather than succumbing to the construct that society has created for women, she finds solace in worshipping Uhamiri, the goddess of lake. Reference to Uhamiri carries a deep symbolic, cultural and feminist meaning. This figure of Uhamiri as used by Nwapa is not just mythological but central to Nawpa’s critique of gender roles and her redefining of womanhood. In traditional belief, Uhamiri often calls certain women to serve her, and in return these women may gain beauty, prosperity, and status but often at the cost of child bearing and marital stability. This traditional representation of Uhamiri is a departure from the version presented by Nwapa who offers a new interpretation in the novel. She is spiritually chosen by the goddess after failed marriages due to infertility, “Your dream is good. The woman of the lake, our Uhamiri, has chosen you to be one of her worshippers” (147). This calling imparts Efuru peace, wealth and fulfillment. Efuru’s dreams and eventual acceptance of Uhamiri’s calling symbolizes a journey towards self-discovery and acceptance. Efuru finds success and wealth even though she is sans child, sans husband. Efuru’s ability to be economically independent ensures her growth and emancipation, thereby empowering hers. She was meant to generate profit, “her hands make money” (156). Through Efuru’s character, Nawpa explores the possibility for all black women to dream and take the control of their lives. Nawapa through this path-breaking novel paves way for all Black African women to redefine their identity, free themselves from the age old bondages of husband worshipping and feel liberated. The need for a man to strongly validate a woman’s life and her choices is prevalent in Nigerian society. In an interview with Maria Umeh, Nwapa says: “There is this stigma on women who elect to be single. Mothers bring up their daughters telling that they have to be married. In my own language we say, ‘No matter how beautiful one is, if she doesn’t get married, she’s nothing’” (160). With the character of Efuru, Nwapa brings to fore the concept of the New Woman-- a woman who is independent and courageous. It is worth considering that Efuru never condemns the Igbo culture and traditions. She always compiles with the dictates of the Igbo culture. This suggests that Efuru’s maternal desire has embraced aspects of her cultural heritage. She does not rebel against polygamy, bride price, motherhood, and religious practices but finds a way of empowerment and survival within them. “Nawapa fights for the Igbo woman to be allowed to have a say in matters concerning woman. She should be allowed the right and freedom to choose her path without the social inhibitions that are found in the Igbo culture” (Ogbodo et al. 150).

It can be substantially argued that Flora Nwapa’s exploration of the intricate relationship between womanhood and motherhood raises several critical questions: Is motherhood essential for a woman’s happiness? Is it the sole purpose of a woman’s life? Is it the only socially-accepted identity available to women? Through the character of Efuru, Nwapa tries answering the dilemma that a woman hasto go through all her life. At the same time, she challenges her readers to reflect on these societal expectations. It is worth noting that Nwapa redefines motherhood in a radical way --presenting it not merely as a biological reproduction, but as an emotional and social role that a woman can fulfill even without bearing children. In doing so, she affirms that women without children are still whole, valid and complete, not valueless in any way. Ultimately Efuru offers a powerful image of the “New Woman”-- one who reclaims her agency and emerges as a symbol of modern African female identity. Though Nwapa does not offer simplistic resolutions, she presents womanhood as a dynamic and evolving experience, full of contradictions and strength.

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